new blog

http://serendipidous.tumblr.com/


see you there!

:(

So, I really don't want to go all emo on anyone, but wow things have just been getting so frustrating.

Yeah, I tend to take things more to heart than most people do. I tend to think things are offensive when a lot of other people just ignore it. A lot of times, I'm probably a hypocrite in what I do also.

But damn, I wish I didn't care about certain things so much or at least that I didn't let them rub me the wrong way. Like these NBA Championships? Yes, obviously Celtic fans are going to be obnoxious but I shouldn't pretend to be a Saint and believe that all the Lakers fans aren't going to do the same. Sports are all the same, and you'll get the extremes of it all. Just enjoy it and forget about the rest. I'm just going to be happy that the Lakers won...and forget everyone else that tries to belittle it.

Seriously, I wear my emotions on my damn sleeve. It's really frustrating because most people feel the same way I do about a lot of things except the only time I find out is when they are spilling their guts out to me. But for me? People just look at me and they know. And then I get tagged the overly-sensitive one. Sometimes also tagged, high-strung. I don't want to be. Can I please just hide how I feel for once? It's kind of taking over my life, and not in a good way :(


And wow. I don't think anyone will ever understand the kind of stress you undergo when constantly interviewing and applying for jobs. It's nice talking to people about it who are in the same boat as me; they get that its extremely stressful, especially right now when most friends have secure jobs and are off playing and really enjoying their summer. But talking to people who aren't job searching? I end up looking like an overly high strung person again.

I don't care, I don't want to care, and I'm not going to care. Ironically, I definitely used to be like this at some point in my life. The question is, when did I change and why? I couldn't have done it willingly, as I now hate what I've become.

*edit.

f this. im just going to be happy :) this makes me miss performing though. i miss the stage.

interesting question

♫ If it came down the Lakers and the Knicks in an NBA Finals playoff game...who would I root for?


I'll have to think about this one...

NBA Finals

LAKERS!!

Please win this so that I can discreetly shove it up every Boston fan I know. It would give me so much pleasure to finally tell them that they know nothing of basketball and that their extremely classless, unsportsmanlike chants are petty and disgusting.

Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, and Ron Artest.

KILL IT TONIGHT!

"You play for everything. There's no other chance. It's a game that you want to give everything you have, everything you have left in your body after a long run. It's a game that you have to win, and it takes you to the championship."
-Pau Gasol, #16

life after graduation

so! it's happened. i've really graduated from the big MIT. yay?


there are a lot of things i'm going to miss for sure, but the reality is that i don't think its really hit me that i'm never going back there as a student ever again. it will, i know.

well for now, i'm onto the jobhunt... i've been busy studying finance since i've gotten back to NY. which, considering how i vowed never to go into finance is definitely ironic, but sigh. gotta do what you gotta do. haha but from all the readings i've done, i can't understand why anyone would possibly consider going into ibanking. sure you make money, but sleeping 2 hours a day? working on weekends? this sounds miserable.

i guess the only thing keeping me sane so far from studying is the nba finals!!! lakers! :) and i just wanted to put a note in here, to all those jerks calling me a bandwagon jumper. i've been a fan of the lakers since the 7th grade. i became a fan because i happened to be out in CA that time for the summer and my close friend would tell me all about them all the time. i didn't feel really strongly about any team for a while (the knicks were ok, but only because allen houston happened to be on it) so i figured why not cheer on the lakers? since then, it just stuck. so, no i'm not a damn bandwagon fan. i've been a fan for the last almost 10 years. which is more than what i can say for all those fools who came to boston for college and suddenly become die hard celtics/red sox fans when you clearly don't know anything about either sport to begin with. shut up and get over it. just because its clear the celtics are going to lose doesn't give you the right to be a bitter jerk and insult and question who i am and why i support who i do.

whew ok. that got serious. haha, and fyi, that's not directed to one specific person. just towards the many who have called me a bandwagon jumper. honestly, it gets old, pick a new insult.

haha! so i saw this at game 1 and i thought it was the funniest thing ever. hahaha


Chris Rock tries to get Kobe's attention during a break in Game 1 but Kobe ignores the attention.

studying for finals makes me feel like this...

a dream is a wish you make with your heart...

it doesn't always workout the way you think it should, but it doesn't mean you should ever stop believing it could. i'm just going to have to work harder and when it happens and believe.

i know that this kind of thing is something that a lot of people don't believe in. but it gives everyone something to strive for and work for and gives us meaning. and so i'm just going to keep on believing.



i wish i didn't have to settle. i'm so headstrong that i won't be happy with anything until i get the one thing i really want. sigh...

this song on repeat:




A dream is a wish your heart makes,
When you're fast asleep,
In dreams you lose your heartaches,
Whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday,
Your rainbow will come smiling through,
No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing,
The dream that you wish will come true.

turning point

Today is a turning point.

I made a private entry onto my computer about everything on my mind, and it was kind of amazing to get it all out in some type of orderly fashion. Nevertheless, if this doesn't work, then it just is how it is.

I have to believe in myself and keep myself grounded on the goal. No more fantasy thinking...it's the real world out here.

I just have to believe.

i miss

feeling like this...

another time maybe

hey all

so i realized i haven't updated in a while. there is actually a lot that happened, and a lot i really want to post about...but at the current moment i'm going to go mia for a little while. i need time to myself...let me find myself..and reflect.

<3

i want

this!!!

Disney Mickey &Gang 5 in 1 Tasty Baker Waffle Maker,Bakes Pancake,Muffins, breads, cakes, and brownies

$39.99


there's a big waffle iron ...that makes a huge mickey mouse, but apparently they've all been recalled a while ago or something. :(




income income income...i need an income.

dreams

have you ever wanted something so badly and it was in your hands to make it come true?


im nervous :(

om nom nom nom

food times :)

Newmacs were fun! The guys won their championships and now its on to nationals. until then, jeff gets everything he wants. -.-

I baked for him and his swimming champion buddies!

1. best banana bread so far. i may tweak it to give it more flavor...it definitely would've helped to have more ripe bananas I think. It wasn't as sweet as it could've been, but I have a crazy sweet tooth that a lot of other people tend not to.

 2. THE best brownies ever.  like actually delicious. the best best. of course, I'm not against trying other recipes but so far, omg so good.

3. gluten-free peanut butter cookies dipped in chocolate and rolled in chopped peanuts. no one believed me they were made without flour. seriously, you only need peanut butter, sugar and butter to make these cookies.

i love baking. next, i wanted to try a few recipes out of the chocolate baking book jeff got me for valentines day. and and the disney cooking book that he also got me for christmas! so many recipes to try :)

Recipes:

Banana Bread

Ingredients

1/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 cup butter
3 cups white sugar
3 eggs
6 very ripe bananas, mashed
1 (16 ounce) container sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking soda
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease four 7x3 inch loaf pans. In a small bowl, stir together 1/4 cup white sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Dust pans lightly with cinnamon and sugar mixture.
2. In a large bowl, cream butter and 3 cups sugar. Mix in eggs, mashed bananas, sour cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Mix in salt, baking soda and flour. Stir in nuts. Divide into prepared pans.
3. Bake for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. 

(courtesy of allrecipes.com)

Chewy, Fudgy Triple-Chocolate Brownies
Makes 16 brownies
5 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped
2 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into quarters
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
3 large eggs
1¼ cups (8¾ ounces) granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup (5 ounces) all-purpose flour
  

1. Adjust an oven rack to the lower-middle position and heat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray an 8-inch square baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Fold two 16-inch pieces of foil or parchment paper lengthwise to measure 8 inches wide. Fit 1 sheet in the bottom of the greased pan, pushing it into the corners and up the sides of the pan (overhang will help in removal of baked brownies). Fit the second sheet in the pan in the same manner, perpendicular to the first sheet. Spray the sheets with nonstick cooking spray. 
2. In a medium heatproof bowl set over a pan of almost-simmering water, melt the chocolates and butter, stirring occasionally until smooth. Whisk in the cocoa until smooth. Set aside to cool. 
3. Whisk together the eggs, sugar, vanilla, and salt in a medium bowl until combined, about 15 seconds. Whisk the warm chocolate mixture into the egg mixture; then stir in the flour with a wooden spoon until just combined. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan, spread into the corners, and level the surface with a rubber spatula. Bake until slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with a small amount of sticky crumbs clinging to it, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, about 2 hours. Remove the brownies from the pan using the foil or parchment handles and transfer to a cutting board. Cut into squares.

 (courtesy of http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2009/09/16/chewy-fudgy-triple-chocolate-brownies/#more-3850)

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
4 oz. Baker’s semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1/2 cup finely chopped peanuts

1. Preheat oven to 325. Mix peanut butter, sugar and egg until well blended.
2. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
3. Remove and roll mixture into 18 balls.
4. Place on ungreased cookie sheet 2 inches apart.
5. Flatten each ball by using a fork to make a criss-cross pattern.
6. Bake 18-20 minutes or until lightly browned.
7. Cool for 5 minutes on cookie sheet and then cool completely on a wire rack.
8. Melt chocolate.
9. Dip one end of cookie into melted chocolate and then dip into chopped peanuts. Repeat with other side.
10. Place on wax paper covered cookie sheet and refrigerate until chocolate hardens.
    (http://www.bakerella.com/perfectly-peanutty/) 

:)

the worthless country

Canada.

that is Canada. If you want to know why, feel free to rewatch the men's speed skating finals, where the head CANADIAN ref makes a shitty call to dq Apolo Ohno.

USA will own Canada in ice hockey on Sunday. so its ok. karma will come around. it really hasn't failed me yet.


and on another note, i love this song. even if its by people called the Canadian Tenors. its actually kind of inspiring. and the guy on the right is really cute.

seriously, the weather needs to stop

the constant rain, drastic shift in temperatures, erratic snow storms, random dirty piles of snow, gigantic puddles that sneak up on you after you've already stepped in them and gotten your entire foot soaking wet for the rest of your 8 hour day, and oh hey, let's trick you and let the sun shine for 2 hours and then swallow it all up into the most gloomy overcast sky for the next 22 hours.

arghhhhhhhh. anyway. moving on:

1. im going to the Men's Swimming and Diving NEWMACS this sunday! it actually starts tomorrow, but im not allowed to go earlier because jeff needs to focus and not get nervous. still, its his last swimming championships so, im excited for him!

2. so this was supposed to be more of a baking blog, and i actually made banana bread tonight..except i forgot to take pictures and its already packed up with jeff for his snacks. umm yeah..i don't think it was very good anyway sadly. im going to try it again in a few weeks, this time with the sour cream.

3. omg, why can't i get a grip on myself and stop psyching myself out of running? i haven't run once this week, and everytime i psych myself out of thinking i can. blahhhhhhhhhh the marathon is going to be so painful.

4. spring break!!!!! i honestly cannot wait. people may think im childish and laugh (actually they already do) but whatever. it makes me happy and i can't wait to go back. it's my home!

5. professional internships are up for disney and im applying. i've actually stopped applying for anything else. disney is my home and i need to go back. Sad it took me so long to realize that.

6. spring is going to fly by... i don't know if im happy or sad. im scared though. the future scares me.


i think i'll bake something this weekend. i'll think about this one. i want it to be a challenge.

escape

i need to get away from here.


please let me escape...

a little bit of happy

because we all need it.

and this makes me happy. no matter how sad, this always brings a smile to my face.





p.s. lion king tonight was amazing. i definitely was in tears...and had chills all over. best character: rafiki. booty booty booty! :)

ever enough?

doesn't seem to be.



people always say if you try your hardest and sacrifice everything, then that's when you know you've done enough.


am i still missing something?



marathon training has gone out the window. i got pseudo sick, and now its back to day 1 of training. awesome.


tired..and falling behind. i need to jump back up.

"Just remember in the darkest hour
Within your heart's the power
For making you
A hero too
So don't lose hope when you're forlorn
Just keep your eyes upon the skies"
-hercules


---------------

on an unrelated note.. i want to start this back up as a baking/life blog. here was my baking for valentines day! for the seals:

the valentines day gift box included fudge marble cupcakes with decadent milk chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles, with white chocolate covered oreo truffles. 

 

mmm tasty :)

 

happy valentines day!

senior spring

last night of iap!



it's actually really sad.



in other news, disneyworld again for spring break!! im actually...really excited. Two of my roommates from the Disney College Program are going down during the same week, which happened to be the best coincidence ever. I'm going down sometime in the next month so I can get recertified at Rock'n'Roller Coaster...and then get my maingate passes! yay!


class tomorrow. mit med appointment in the morning for a vaccine. ughhh. still haven't registered yet. blahh.

ps. im still obsessed with the song from the previous post
pps. i actually ran the 8 miles in the marathon training! never been so proud of myself.

love disney

Saw Disney on Ice last night...Princess Classics. If you weren't a fan of Disney, you would've hated it, but me? I absolutely loved it. Loved it so much, that it got me back on this Disney craze where I want to watch everything Disney and I want to go back there SO badly.

Watched Mulan and Hercules tonight! So amazing... so inspiring!

There's a version of Go the Distance that I actually adore...its resung by Lucas Grabeel (from HSM). Some hate it, I love it. I'm a total sucker for this kind of music.

First real day of work tomorrow. Pretty nervous... ugh. Somewhat excited...more nervous energy I think!

marathon training!

http://www.vaam-power.com/marathon-training-program.html#program

http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-244--9215-4-1X2X3X5-5,00.html

That's the link to my marathon training schedule. Mostly the first one is the one I plan to follow. Sara sent it to me...we're supposed to run together ..ish. The training looks really intense..I'm kind of terrified, but we'll just see how it goes. Given how badly my knee has been and that my shoulder is only just recovering...hopefully I'll be ok!

I got my schedule for Hill Holliday! Finally...I was getting worried that my paperwork had gotten lost in the mail and they decided that I didn't care enough to work there. I really hope I enjoy this internship...I've been having a lot of trouble finding an internship that really captivates me. I always end up doing shit work in the end, like getting lunch for my boss. Clearly very exciting. But Hill Holliday! They seem really cool and fun in terms of the work they get to do, and they get to work on the advertising campaigns for a lot of big names including Dunkin' Donuts. :) I'll keep updates as I start. Orientation is this Wednesday, so we'll see! I'm working there M, T, W, F 1-5:30PM. Kind of intense.

The weather in Boston still sucks. In fact, today was worse than most days. It ...downpoured. Ugh.

But the dance/video for MLK is turning together well! I think it's going to be awesome :):) We seriously just need some sunny days ...effing Boston.

<3

tired

So I realize I haven't actually posted anything meaningful on this in a very long time. In fact, I'm not really sure I posted anything meaningful on this blog since I've started it when I was in Disney World last spring. It's weird because I always feel like I have so much to write and so much to share, yet I can never bring myself to actually open the blog and start writing. It's not like its a hard thing to do...I'm not really sure what keeps stopping me from doing it.

ugh. I'm exhausted. Mentally and physically. My entire body hurts from going out every night (I need a serious break) and also from working out with Cai everyday. The working out part is awesome..I'm really glad I've been able to be so headstrong about it and keep it up so diligently. On the other hand, the drinking and going out part is really starting to take a toll on me. Even so, I love all the people I go out with and it just compels me to want to spend time with them. Of course that leads to all sorts of crazy nights...but hey, those are the best times.

Mentally? There's a lot going on in my mind. Although a lot of times, I get tired of having so much crap overflowing my brain that I just let it go vacant. People often think that I'm in a bad mood or being super moody..but really? My mind is actually completely blank and I'm not thinking about anything. Forget a bad mood, its just a vacant expression I leave on my face because there is actually nothing in my mind. People say, "What are you thinking about?" Haha....legit..nothing. It's actually a nice place to keep your mind when you can. But when I do have to think, its hard to keep track of everything. I'm sad, happy, depressed to the point of just sitting in my room and crying, but then so excited to be where I am. I really am a people person. I depend on people to keep me happy and without them, I just settle into this abyss of ...feeling lonely. I guess its also different from being independent. It's not that I'm depending on them for everything I do, because I am still a very indepenedent person. I just always want people around me. Is that strange? Right now, I'm alone and the loneliness is definitely kicking in.

I should really just go to bed. Tomorrow will be sunny (please boston...) and it's going to be a new day. I've been listening to this song on repeat for a while. It's the song that we will be using for our video/dance project for MLK. It's a little monotonous maybe, but I feel like there is just so much happiness and meaning on the song. I love the dance....he's so happy.

more recipes to try....

NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (recipe may be halved)

2 cups butter
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz. Hershey bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
-Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey bar, and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
-Makes 112 cookies.